57. Gadarien's Story (Adranaya)¶
“I’ve told you both about what happened to my family before the war. But I left something out," Gadarien said. Even at the darkest moments, his voice had always seemed buoyant, passionate. But now he sounded tired, and his absence of energy nagged Adra like a missing tooth.
“Even when I was small, I always needed to be alone. With eight people in our house, that was hard to do. Sometimes I snuck out in the morning before anyone else was awake. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I would just explore different parts of the city. If my parents had known, I’m sure they would have forbidden it. Maybe I always liked having a secret life.” His self-deprecating smile vanished the moment it appeared.
“The Tementeira came while I was out exploring. I passed them as they were starting to march toward my neighborhood, but I didn’t understand what was happening.” The candle guttered, sending a plume of smoke to join its kin in the shadows. “No, that’s not true. I knew something was wrong, but I was afraid. So instead of running ahead and warning people, I hid until they'd passed.
“By the time I got back, the mob had already come and gone. My parents were dead, hanging from the balcony, and the back half of the store, where we lived, was on fire. My brother and sister were trapped inside. I tried to get them out, but I was too late. That’s when I got this,” he said, touching the shiny skin on his cheek. “I should have died with them, but I was a coward.
“After that, I swore to never hide from what had to be done. But I’ve always lived with the knowledge of who I really am.”
Adra’s pulse was racing, as though she were hearing the screams of her own siblings as they burned. It was strange—she was oddly numb to her own pain, but Vaye and Gadarien’s stories had gone down like a bag of needles, stabbing her from within. The Healer had seared off some of her emotions, leaving behind the ones that tied her to the Vorkyrda’s will, but had accidentally missed her sense of empathy. Or perhaps that would’ve been sheared away next, if she hadn’t been rescued.
“When I told you what happened to me, you said I couldn’t blame myself because I was just a child,” Vaye said. “Why doesn’t that apply to you?”
Gadarien’s voice was rough, his fist clenching and unclenching in his lap. “There was nothing you could do. But me, I made a choice.”
“We’ve all made choices,” Vaye said softly. “And now we have to make one more.”
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